4 years natural and I still don't have it all figured out and in the back of my mind still remains a few hair insecurities. I'm not sure whether this is normal or not after 4 years of natural but I still battle with it and everyday I get stronger looking in the mirror and accepting what God has so graciously blessed me with though. It is diffcult to reverse years of societies brainwashing tactics that say natural hair is "nappy" and "ugly.
The biggest battle I have had to face on this journey is battling with myself and what was and still is ingrained in my mind. What was and still is going on internally in my head has contributed to my hair insecurities. Letting go is key. Changing your negative thinking is key. Self-worth, self-acceptance is something I've battled with for sometime but the day I cut all my hair off was the day I began to strip all the negativity away and begin a new way of thinking.
It is the support system that kept me from reverting back to the lye. My husband was supportive and embraced my hair when I was confused about what I was doing and why I was doing it. I was learning how to care for my hair and develop and adpat to a regmine suitable for me and my hair and my husbands thinking was changing in the process too.
I build myself up when I'm feeling broken. When I had no hair to hide behind was when I realized I was using my long permed hair as a security blanket. Making the drastic decision to cut it all off was freeing but scary. I had a roomate with natural hair and a mother who at the time wasn't natural but said I was the reason she decided to go back natural. A year later my sister went natural. I didn't realize what I started. People saw something in my journey. I was inspiration for others who felt as broken as I did.
I know now that I have to be strong. I'm going to be strong. On the days when I'm feeling weak in myself, feeling like my hair is not beautiful, when I'm feeling unworthy, feeling not so cute, I think back to my mother and sisters journey and how I helped changed their mind, how some of the younger girls at church decided to go natural and saw me as inspiration. I think back to my journey and think I've come to far to doubt myself, to doubt what God has given me.
An insecurity will creep up in my head because such is life but the most important thing i've learned on this journey was learning to shut down the negative thoughts before they develop into my way of thinking. Sometimes I revist old pictures of myself during the transition to remind myself of the journey and how it has humbled me, how it has changed me from the inside out. Understanding that my hair does not define me but that it is merely a product of my beauty given to me by God to communicate his great works and remind society that individuality is key.
What are your insecurities? Why do they make you insecure? Think, how can I shut them down before they develop and begin to linger. What can I replace them with so I can remain strong and positive for the next woman on the journey for the woman who is watching me and believes in me.
That's All Folks!
The biggest battle I have had to face on this journey is battling with myself and what was and still is ingrained in my mind. What was and still is going on internally in my head has contributed to my hair insecurities. Letting go is key. Changing your negative thinking is key. Self-worth, self-acceptance is something I've battled with for sometime but the day I cut all my hair off was the day I began to strip all the negativity away and begin a new way of thinking.
It is the support system that kept me from reverting back to the lye. My husband was supportive and embraced my hair when I was confused about what I was doing and why I was doing it. I was learning how to care for my hair and develop and adpat to a regmine suitable for me and my hair and my husbands thinking was changing in the process too.
I build myself up when I'm feeling broken. When I had no hair to hide behind was when I realized I was using my long permed hair as a security blanket. Making the drastic decision to cut it all off was freeing but scary. I had a roomate with natural hair and a mother who at the time wasn't natural but said I was the reason she decided to go back natural. A year later my sister went natural. I didn't realize what I started. People saw something in my journey. I was inspiration for others who felt as broken as I did.
I know now that I have to be strong. I'm going to be strong. On the days when I'm feeling weak in myself, feeling like my hair is not beautiful, when I'm feeling unworthy, feeling not so cute, I think back to my mother and sisters journey and how I helped changed their mind, how some of the younger girls at church decided to go natural and saw me as inspiration. I think back to my journey and think I've come to far to doubt myself, to doubt what God has given me.
An insecurity will creep up in my head because such is life but the most important thing i've learned on this journey was learning to shut down the negative thoughts before they develop into my way of thinking. Sometimes I revist old pictures of myself during the transition to remind myself of the journey and how it has humbled me, how it has changed me from the inside out. Understanding that my hair does not define me but that it is merely a product of my beauty given to me by God to communicate his great works and remind society that individuality is key.
What are your insecurities? Why do they make you insecure? Think, how can I shut them down before they develop and begin to linger. What can I replace them with so I can remain strong and positive for the next woman on the journey for the woman who is watching me and believes in me.
That's All Folks!